mirror of
https://github.com/fleschutz/PowerShell.git
synced 2024-11-24 08:53:59 +01:00
70 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
|
Joke
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
|
||
|
"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris breathes air five times a day."
|
||
|
"In the Beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning."
|
||
|
"If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win."
|
||
|
"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light"
|
||
|
"Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."
|
||
|
"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist."
|
||
|
"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. Its now called Red Bull."
|
||
|
"If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"On the 7th day, God rested Chuck Norris took over."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye."
|
||
|
"If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling."
|
||
|
"Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can speak Braille."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run."
|
||
|
"Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves."
|
||
|
"Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing."
|
||
|
"The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."
|
||
|
"Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience."
|
||
|
"When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can drown a fish."
|
||
|
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off."
|
||
|
"The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him."
|
||
|
"Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray."
|
||
|
"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn't work."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes."
|
||
|
"When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders."
|
||
|
"It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch '60 Minutes'."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough."
|
||
|
"We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can clap with one hand."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly."
|
||
|
"Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris."
|
||
|
"Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube."
|