Add write-saying.ps1 and speak-saying.ps1

Data/sayings.csv

@@ -0,0 +1,69 @@
+Joke
+"Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants."
+"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."
+"If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."
+"Chuck Norris breathes air five times a day."
+"In the Beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job."
+"Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning."
+"If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win."
+"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them."
+"Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
+"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light"
+"Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent."
+"Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold."
+"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."
+"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist."
+"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain."
+"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. Its now called Red Bull."
+"If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris."
+"On the 7th day, God rested  Chuck Norris took over."
+"Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball."
+"Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn."
+"Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye."
+"If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list."
+"Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never."
+"Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling."
+"Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete."
+"Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice."
+"Chuck Norris can speak Braille."
+"Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time."
+"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle."
+"Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run."
+"Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died."
+"Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves."
+"Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris."
+"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
+"Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors."
+"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing."
+"The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris."
+"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."
+"Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience."
+"When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed."
+"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone."
+"Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction."
+"Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain."
+"Chuck Norris can drown a fish."
+"When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off."
+"The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake."
+"Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye."
+"Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him."
+"Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris."
+"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down."
+"Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is."
+"Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost."
+"Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray."
+"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn't work."
+"Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it."
+"Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths."
+"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
+"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes."
+"When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders."
+"It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch '60 Minutes'."
+"Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough."
+"We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris."
+"Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest."
+"Chuck Norris can clap with one hand."
+"Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow."
+"Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly."
+"Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris."
+"Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube."

Data/scripts.csv

@@ -142,7 +142,6 @@ make-repo.ps1, builds the current/given Git repository
 make-repos.ps1, builds all Git repositories under the current/given directory
 moon.ps1, prints the current moon phase
 mute-audio.ps1, mutes audio
-next-joke.ps1], gets the next random Juck Norris joke
 open-browser.ps1, starts the default Web browser
 open-calculator.ps1, starts the calculator program
 open-email-client.ps1, starts the default email client
@@ -186,7 +185,8 @@ speak-file.ps1, speaks the content of the given text file by text-to-speech (TTS
 speak-french.ps1, speaks the given text with a French text-to-speech (TTS) voice
 speak-german.ps1, speaks the given text with a German text-to-speech (TTS) voice
 speak-italian.ps1, speaks the given text with an Italian text-to-speech (TTS) voice
-speak-joke.ps1, speaks the next joke by text-to-speech (TTS)
+speak-joke.ps1, speaks a random Chuck Norris joke by text-to-speech (TTS)
+speak-saying.ps1, speaks a random saying by text-to-speech (TTS)
 speak-test.ps1, performs a speak test by text-to-speech (TTS)
 speak-text.ps1, speaks the given text by text-to-speech (TTS)
 speak-time.ps1, speaks the current time by text-to-speech (TTS)
@@ -214,12 +214,14 @@ write-big.ps1, writes the given text in big letters
 write-blue.ps1, writes the given text in a blue foreground color
 write-braille.ps1, writes the given text in Braille
 write-green.ps1, writes the given text in a green foreground color
+write-joke.ps1], writes a random Juck Norris joke
 write-lowercase.ps1, writes the given text in lowercase letters
 write-marquee.ps1, writes the given text as marquee
 write-morse-code.ps1, writes the given text in Morse code
 write-motd.ps1, writes the message of the day (MOTD)
 write-red.ps1, writes the given text in a red foreground color
 write-rot13.ps1, encodes or decodes the given text with ROT13
+write-saying.ps1], writes a random saying
 write-typewriter.ps1, writes the given text with the typewriter effect
 write-uppercase.ps1, writes the given text in uppercase letters
 write-vertical.ps1, writes the given text in vertical direction

README.md

@@ -27,6 +27,7 @@ Mega Collection of PowerShell Scripts
 * [speak-german.ps1](Scripts/speak-german.ps1) - speaks the given text with a German text-to-speech (TTS) voice
 * [speak-italian.ps1](Scripts/speak-italian.ps1) - speaks the given text with an Italian text-to-speech (TTS) voice
 * [speak-joke.ps1](Scripts/speak-joke.ps1) - speaks a random Chuck Norris joke by text-to-speech (TTS)
+* [speak-saying.ps1](Scripts/speak-saying.ps1) - speaks a random saying by text-to-speech (TTS)
 * [speak-test.ps1](Scripts/speak-test.ps1) - performs a speak test by text-to-speech (TTS)
 * [speak-text.ps1](Scripts/speak-text.ps1) - speaks the given text by text-to-speech (TTS)
 * [speak-time.ps1](Scripts/speak-time.ps1) - speaks the current time by text-to-speech (TTS)
@@ -240,13 +241,14 @@ Mega Collection of PowerShell Scripts
 * [write-blue.ps1](Scripts/write-blue.ps1) - writes the given text in a blue foreground color
 * [write-braille.ps1](Scripts/write-braille.ps1) - writes the given text in Braille
 * [write-green.ps1](Scripts/write-green.ps1) - writes the given text in a green foreground color
-* [write-lowercase.ps1](Scripts/write-lowercase.ps1) - writes the given text in lowercase letters
 * [write-joke.ps1](Scripts/write-joke.ps1) - writes a random Juck Norris joke
+* [write-lowercase.ps1](Scripts/write-lowercase.ps1) - writes the given text in lowercase letters
 * [write-marquee.ps1](Scripts/write-marquee.ps1) - writes the given text as marquee
 * [write-morse-code.ps1](Scripts/write-morse-code.ps1) - writes the given text in Morse code
 * [write-motd.ps1](Scripts/write-motd.ps1) - writes the message of the day (MOTD)
 * [write-red.ps1](Scripts/write-red.ps1) - writes the given text in a red foreground color
 * [write-rot13.ps1](Scripts/write-rot13.ps1) - encodes or decodes the given text with ROT13
+* [write-saying.ps1](Scripts/write-saying.ps1) - writes a random saying
 * [write-typewriter.ps1](Scripts/write-typewriter.ps1) - writes the given text with the typewriter effect
 * [write-uppercase.ps1](Scripts/write-uppercase.ps1) - writes the given text in uppercase letters
 * [write-vertical.ps1](Scripts/write-vertical.ps1) - writes the given text in vertical direction

Scripts/speak-saying.ps1

@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+<#
+.SYNOPSIS
+	speak-saying.ps1
+.DESCRIPTION
+	Speaks a random saying by text-to-speech (TTS)
+.EXAMPLE
+	PS> .\speak-saying.ps1
+.LINK
+	https://github.com/fleschutz/PowerShell
+.NOTES
+	Author:  Markus Fleschutz
+	License: CC0
+#>
+
+try {
+	$Table = import-csv "$PSScriptRoot/../Data/saying.csv"
+
+	$Generator = New-Object System.Random
+	$Index = [int]$Generator.next(0,66)
+
+	$Joke = $Table[$Index].Joke
+
+	& "$PSScriptRoot/speak-english.ps1" "$Joke"
+	exit 0
+} catch {
+	write-error "⚠️ Error in line $($_.InvocationInfo.ScriptLineNumber): $($Error[0])"
+	exit 1
+}

Scripts/write-saying.ps1

@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+<#
+.SYNOPSIS
+	write-saying.ps1 
+.DESCRIPTION
+	Writes a random saying to the console.
+.EXAMPLE
+	PS> .\write-saying.ps1
+.LINK
+	https://github.com/fleschutz/PowerShell
+.NOTES
+	Author:  Markus Fleschutz
+	License: CC0
+#>
+
+try {
+	$Table = import-csv "$PSScriptRoot/../Data/sayings.csv"
+
+	$Generator = New-Object System.Random
+	$Index = [int]$Generator.next(0,66)
+
+	$Line = $Table[$Index].Saying
+	"📣 $Line"
+	exit 0
+} catch {
+	write-error "⚠️ Error in line $($_.InvocationInfo.ScriptLineNumber): $($Error[0])"
+	exit 1
+}