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70 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
70 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
JOKE,
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"Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.",
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"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.",
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"If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.",
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"Chuck Norris breathes air five times a day.",
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"In the Beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.",
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"Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.",
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"If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.",
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"The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.",
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"Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.",
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"Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light",
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"Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.",
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"Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.",
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"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.",
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"There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.",
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"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.",
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"Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. Its now called Red Bull.",
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"If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.",
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"On the 7th day, God rested Chuck Norris took over.",
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"Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.",
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"Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.",
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"Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.",
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"If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list.",
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"Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.",
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"Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.",
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"Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.",
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"Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.",
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"Chuck Norris can speak Braille.",
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"Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.",
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"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.",
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"Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.",
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"Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.",
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"Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.",
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"Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.",
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"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.",
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"Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.",
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"Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.",
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"The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.",
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"Chuck Norris makes onions cry.",
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"Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.",
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"When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.",
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"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.",
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"Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.",
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"Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.",
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"Chuck Norris can drown a fish.",
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"When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.",
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"The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.",
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"Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.",
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"Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.",
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"Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.",
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"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.",
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"Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.",
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"Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.",
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"Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.",
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"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn't work.",
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"Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.",
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"Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.",
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"Chuck Norris can divide by zero.",
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"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.",
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"When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.",
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"It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch '60 Minutes'.",
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"Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.",
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"We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.",
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"Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.",
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"Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.",
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"Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow.",
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"Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.",
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"Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.",
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"Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.",
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