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PowerShell/Data/jokes.csv
2021-01-29 12:27:04 +01:00

4.7 KiB

1Joke
2Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
3Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
4If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
5Chuck Norris breathes air five times a day.
6In the Beginning there was nothing then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
7Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
8If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
9The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
10Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
11Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
12Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
13Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
14Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
15There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.
16The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
17Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. Its now called Red Bull.
18If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.
19On the 7th day, God rested Chuck Norris took over.
20Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
21Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
22Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
23If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies, just check the extinct species list.
24Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
25Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
26Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
27Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.
28Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
29Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.
30Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
31Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
32Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
33Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
34Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
35When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
36Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
37Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
38The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
39Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
40Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
41When Chuck Norris writes, he makes paper bleed.
42Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
43Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
44Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
45Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
46When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
47The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
48Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
49Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
50Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
51When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he's pushing the Earth down.
52Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
53Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
54Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
55The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn't work.
56Chuck Norris can get in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.
57Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
58Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
59Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
60When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
61It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch '60 Minutes'.
62Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
63We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
64Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
65Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
66Chuck Norris doesn't need to shave. His beard is scared to grow.
67Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
68Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
69Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.